Boundaries

Boundaries...we all need them, yet we all seem to resist or lash out when we encounter them. I'm learning that resistance starts very young...3 1/2 to be exact.

I love my newborn babies: sweet, cuddly and easily pacified. I love my one year olds: curious, walking and learning new things every day. I love my two year olds: independent, diaperless, and still napping. But things always get hard for me at age three. I think that is the age that kids realize that they can resist the boundaries.

For Scott, the boundary is like a brick wall. He runs at full speed toward it and "rams" it for hours, wailing and pleading. When he sees that we are firm on our stance, he (finally) accepts it and never pushes that boundary again. It is set. This personality type makes me always question "do I want to fight this battle now?" because I know when I start the battle, I have to stick with it until the end.

For Andrew, the boundary is like an electric dog fence. He also runs toward it at full speed. When he reaches it, he pauses for a second, and bursts through on the other side and keeps running. To him, boundaries don't exist. They are just a minor pain, like the shock a dog gets while he is near the electric part of the yard.

So, I find that disciplining him is totally different from Scott. Just when I started to feel comfortable with my discipline methods, Andrew changed everything. No time to be complacent around here! I can tell Andrew 100 times not to... (fill in the blank: climb on the couch, yell in the hallway, throw balls in the house - all of these are examples from today.) No matter what the consequence, I'll find him doing the same thing the next day. It is driving me crazy. So, I'm praying for lots of patience and wisdom to know how to raise this little boy.

And I'm not so eagerly awaiting a three-year old Amanda. I wonder what she has in store for me.